Six months ago, at the beginning of September to be precise, I saw a picture on Instagram, which I could not forget. I was laying on the couch covered by a thick woolly blanket with a sick, in my armes spleeping Mr. Sweetface. I myself was rather weak and at the end of my possibilities, as I read the following text under the picture:
Saying good bye to my light, my love before he goes to save lives. This pain is unbearable. Liam, I love you. Hug your children, kiss them always. Don`t lose patience. Laugh with them often. Get off your phones and play games`#rememberliam Only klick here, when you are strong enough.
I cried and held Cosmo tightly in my arms. It was so emotional and I feel it still today.
A couple from Hawthorne, California, lost their then 15 months old son. His name was Liam and was born a day after Mr. Sweetface in May 2015. At the end of October there was no other way, I always came across in Instagram of pictures of Mishel’s or MacKowal’s Instagram Account. Somehow I felt bad just looking at the pictures and reading the articles on the account without supporting them.
The urge to write to Mishel to be able to do something, to feel compassion became always greater. I could not do anything about it. That’s why I stopped to fight against the urge to give into my impulses because it was not going to leave me any peace.
I cannot tell you today what kept me mesmerized on this happening.
I wrote Mishel not expecting an answer that I would write about Liam when I am online with my blog. I would like to support that which is worth fighting for in America. A worldwide law in remembrance of Liam and unendingly many other children and grownups which lost their lives because of drunkeness behind the wheel.
Herewith I would like to keep my promise which I made.
A sad walk
The 15 months old Liam was in a stroller with his just 15 year old aunty – which is normal in California on a Saturday – wonderful sunny day. They stood at a zebra-crossing and waited for the ttraffic lamp to change to green. Liams Dad is Mixed Martial Art Athlet (MMA) and has a trainingcenter in Hawthorne. Liam and his aunty were only a four minutes walk away from the Studio on their way to a Mexican restaurant, where Liam would get his most favorite pineapple agua, fresca, burritos and tortas. But they would never arrive there.
Mishel`s sister pushed the stroller over the road when suddenly out of nowhere a SUV collided with the stroller. The woman driver attempted to flee. Witnesses stopped her until the local police arrived. Marcus and Mishel heart sirens, ran out of the Studio, saw the stroller torn in two halfes and the green plushfrog from Liam laying on the asphalt. The plushfrog was always with Liam since he was born. Without him Liam would never leave the house. Without him he never wanted to fall asleep.
Liam tried to fight back into life, the doctors managed to get him back, but on the next day they had to declare him as deceased. His aunty was seriously injured because of this terrible accident. Not only did she receive the serious injuries, she must now for the rest of her life live with this terrible happening and I wish her from all my heart that this young girl is strong enough and doesn`t break down.
The lady that drove the car was 72 and had almost lived her life, was drunk when she caused the accident. She had driven the car, surely not with the intention to hurt someone, but she under alcohol behind the wheel… Irresponsible.
The news that Liam was declared officially dead spread around very quickly. Mishel and Marcus allowed Liam`s organs to be used to help other children. In their berievement of their son they were confronted with begging requests from parents who desperately needed an organ donator. Since then they are much involved with the theme of organ donation and fight for DON´T DRINK AND DRIVE!
Even now, as I am writing this story, my eyes are filled with tears while I cannot understand that this small boy could not be with his parents. Just imagine you could not cuddle and embrace your loved one.
Put away your smart phones for a few hours a day and focus your attention completely on the small beings. Life is not forever. This we must not forget. Therefore live your life. Go as often as possible out into nature. Show much love, live the moment, work maybe less and concentrate more on the more important things in life, for ex. your children, families, friends, animals, hobbys…. Those things that make you happy and fill your life.
In the streets of Berlin
Since then I never cross a street with my child in the buggy without thinking at this terrible tragedy. Even, when the traffic light is green, I will always look to the right and left to be totally sure that all cars have stopped. When I am invited somewhere, where alcohol is being consumed, I think who from the people present will enter the car after having had one glass of alcohol.
Now ME. In December I cought myself when after the Christmas dinner with my girl friends, where alcohol was served, I drove home by car. I had drunken at least two if not three glasses of wine. During the drive home (15 minutes) I had a terribly bad conscience and always had to think at Liam and my own son. That was for definitively the last evening in my life where I drove with the car after having consumed alcohol.
I have the opinion that there should be a worldwide regulation of the 0/0 % Alcohol level. With a Zero-solution we all would know where we stand. Zero coma zero does understand everybody.
The one who drinks alcohol cannot drive with a car. So easy. Do you know that such a law existed in the DDR? I didn`t, until I started to investigate for this theme. ”Each other regulation leads to selfdeceit. And that is dangerous for our life – not only for the cheater.” (Stefan Jacobs)
What does 0.5% really means. It depends on how you are built and what you have eaten or not eaten beforehand, and how quickly your body can reduce the alcohol. DON`T DRINK AND DRIVE!
What every individual does is his own personal matter. Really more people should simply travel by taxi, bus or railway, or they should be picked up or walk. What difference do a few Euros make in comparison with several peoples lives.
At the End of the Day…..
……since I have become a mother I am always accompanied by worries and anxieties. You know these feelings, of course. They come and go, but they always come back.
What if something happens to Mr. Sweetface? Imagine, if I was not there to prevent this happening. What if it happens before my very eyes? Small children, small problems; big children, big problems. Damn, I think there is some truth in this saying.
Ok, these are the thoughts that one has, when entering the parents-club, at the birth of one`s own child if the child is put in our hands. Nobody, really nobody told me before what happens with my feelings when one becomes a mother. Or did relatives and friends clarify the situation. Mine did not and I would never in my life had the idea or during my pregnancy to ask.
Be simply aware. Take as much time as possible for your children. Keep your eyes open and very important DONT´T DRINK AND DRIVE!
We always remember you Liam <3
(Words from Marcus Kowal concerning the hardest six months in his life.)
Sadly, this situation happens every day, that we do not get to hear off. This is only one of many sad stories.